How Do You Take Your Coffee? (Vash, 2 years ago)

[Roderich Edelstein]

Vash Zwingli | 918   Roderich is the pettiest ex Roderich - Vash Roderich’s mirror was a very faithful servant. It had served him through many occasions, helping present the best of himself from the day he got into Archadia to the day he met the Governor. A variety of events – opening ceremonies to balls – had been overseen by the object. From tuxedos to a loose shirt, from white tie to the curious glances he once in a while gave his nude form, the mirror had illuminated every flaw and asset that his eyes could find. It was a well-polished floor length tri-panel one, useful in noting any imperfections. He tried not to spend too much time in front of it when he wasn’t get ready, finding himself generally unattractive despite hearing contradicting opinions from quite a few people. One of them being the man he was to meet today. Vash Zwingli. The name rolled off Roderich’s tongue smoothly, but there needed to be bitter laughter following it – after all these years he’d just chosen to reinsert himself into Roderich’s life. As if the man’s father wasn’t bribing and threatening him all throughout them, as if he couldn’t feel the noose of Vash’s family follow him despite it being years since anything between them had happened. He should have expected running into him, they said he was head of Mutant Intelligence now, looks like Daddy got him to lead the spooks (Roderich shouldn’t be so bitter, truly, Papa Zwingli got him his current position too). But yet suddenly seeing him, after all these years – did it bring back feelings? Did he swoon? Quake in his knees? Did Roderich want to sweep his ex-boyfriend back into his arms? No. He’d tried very hard to keep the hurt and anger from his face as Vash had approached him out of the blue at work – how did he even know? – and told him they needed to talk. Yes, they had needed to talk, years ago. Any words that should have been said had long died in Roderich’s throat, neglected by years, over five years of absence. And then he told him a time, date, and place and went on as if nothing happened, leaving Roderich to experience the shock, the anger, and the hurt. Careless. But tact had never been his strong suit. It was, however, Roderich’s and he knew he needed it now. Just as much as he needed his mirror. Even if he wasn’t very good-looking, even rough gems could be recut and polished and that’s what Roderich had ‘perfected’. Looking polished. You couldn’t cut well with a dull tool, after all. But today he actually noted that his stressing over what to wear (as if this was an actual date) had come in handy in making him look…good, for once, by his standards. And it was being…wasted. ‘No,’ Roderich thought, sighing before the mirror. ‘This isn’t a waste; this was years in the making. If I cannot severe ties completely, the main one will be snipped today.’ He checked his watch, noting that there was little time to make it to the café where Vash had asked him to meet him. Just as planned. The thing about growing up with people is that you actually know them, know their peeves and likes. Vash liked things on schedule, Vash expected punctuality – and while Roderich was sometimes the same, in this case he would let his normal standards slip…just enough to annoy Vash, to maybe even make the other think he’d had no intention of meeting him. As while Roderich would have liked that, to just go on and pretend that the man had never approached him, it opened the door for Vash to pester him further. No, Roderich wanted that door gone, not simple locked or barred, he wanted it GONE. Much like he wanted Vash…gone. The Austrian finally entered the café fifteen minutes after six, fifteen minutes after the time Vash had told him to meet him. He entered slowly, slinking into the rather small coffee shop. At any other time he would have thoroughly enjoyed being here. The smell of strong coffee brewing hit his nose the minute he entered, plush armchairs near wooden tables that looked perfect for relaxing back and reading in dotted the space, and those pastries he could see looked delicious. Ah, childhood friends lovers, who else would know him so well except Zwingli? Indigo eyes searched high and very low (Vash hadn’t grown much) until they spotted the man and the ends of his lips curled into a smirk as he glided over to the table he was sitting at. Roderich made sure his movements were fluid, at ease, as if he hadn’t been playing this over and over in his head, and sat down opposite of Vash wordlessly, making himself very comfortable. “Zwingli.” Roderich said, in lieu of a greeting. He spared the menu no attention – he wouldn’t be here long enough. There was no need for pleasantries either, Roderich wasn’t going to give him his time like he deserved it. “You wanted to talk? Talk.” He drawled out, tilting his head and lips at the other in a haughty manner. He wanted to hear it, hear the excuses, hear the questions, and maybe even hear the pleas. Roderich wanted to hear Vash’s voice crack like it used to when he got upset, wanted to see the man scoff again as he realized what sort of game Roderich was playing. He wanted it all. It’s not like his mind would change anyway.

I like my coffee like my heart

Black, bitter, and cold

made by remi of rilla go! & adoxography

[Vash Zwingli]

THESE ARE THE DAYS WHEN I HATE THE WORLD HATE THE RICH, HATE THE HAPPY, HATE THE COMPLACENT. TV WATCHERS, BEER DRINKERS, THE SATISFIED ONES. BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN BE ALL THOSE LITTLE HATEFUL THINGS AND THEN I HATE MYSELF FOR REALIZING THAT. BE SAFE, BE SAFE.

1151 WORDS Roderich Edelstein TAGGED Rod I hope you feel bad NOTES

Vash hadn’t known what had gotten into him. He’d heard about a certain Edelstein’s existence and success in the city pretty much since his first day of work. He’d wanted to contact the man, see how he was at the very least. He wanted to apologize. There were so many matters of different things that he wanted to know and see—at the very least he wanted to hold that man again. After all these years Roderich had been the person that had kept him sane, sane through his isolation and training, even if he hadn’t been able to speak to him and wasn’t permitted to give him so much as a goodbye, just the thought of seeing him—him and the both of them in their mountains together again was what forced him to listen to the people that would “teach” him how to hide his mutation. But all the same, he was afraid. He’d been afraid to speak to—or even see the man since he had known of his presence in Archadia. It had been so long since that Christmas, the last day he’d seen the boy—his partner. Vash had been afraid that Roderich had changed—grown cold due to his own father’s influence, what if he hated him? In all honesty, that’s what Vash had expected from Roderich. Considering that Vash had vanished without a trace and he doubted his father had ever given any excuse, he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. That was the last thing he wanted to see from his past…partner. Vash had wanted to see him smile, just be happy even—even if it wasn’t with him. His only friend, the person who knew him best to the degree that even his sister couldn’t understand, no he couldn’t stand the idea of Roderich looking at him with hatred in his eyes. And yet he expected it. Perhaps that had been why he had avoided contacting the other man for the first little while he had been there—that among other things like settling into work and trying to keep a certain mutation hidden. That was another thing altogether. He’d hidden that from Roderich for as long as he could remember—he had always feared Roderich growing scared of him more than anything, especially after what had happened when they were both young to cause such a fear. He’d tried to…in an indirect way tell Roderich what he was, or at least tell him that he should be afraid of him. But that never really seemed to have worked, at least not looking back it didn’t. And yet he’d still gone to the other to ask for a chance to talk. Why? Perhaps it was because he felt guilty for what happened, as no matter how much he knew it hadn’t been his choice to simply vanish, it still happened. It could have also been the fact that even after all of this time, he wanted—desperately for the man to still be like the boy he’d fallen in love with so long ago and vowed to protect (regardless of whether Roderich knew it or not.) Or perhaps, he simply wanted to have someone he truly knew in this depressing city to at least give him a small sense of home every once in a while during a conversation. However, no matter the naïve reason for his finally mustering up the courage to approach the other, he found himself sitting in a café much similar to the ones they used to meet at for dates in Vienna and Zurich. It was the exact sort of environment Vash had known Roderich to feel comfortable with, at least once upon a time. Something small and private—yet cozy and still elegant where the scents of the coffee, chocolate and freshly made pastries filled the air, combined with the warm sound of the fire crackling away around the corner. He felt nervous—doing such a thing in public, and so he’d picked a more private corner of the room (not like the café was busy at this time of day anyway however.) He’d put on one of his best suits, as he knew Roderich had always been a fan of well, dressing well. He’d also tried to tame his hair, without much success so at the very least he could look like he was trying. That whole day and the night before he’d been nervous, nervous to the point where for once his dreams weren’t nightmares—simply of this meeting and him accidentally shocking the other simply because of how much his nerves had gotten to him. He’d expected Roderich, much like himself to be rather prompt with timing. However as 6:10 came around, he started to realize that was not the case. With every ticking minute he grew more nervous, and the knot in his stomach tightened as he worried Roderich wouldn’t show up. Finally, at 6:14 he couldn’t help but flag down a waitress and order a coffee for both of them—if Roderich didn’t show he’d just drink it himself. He ordered the same thing they always used to when they went to places like this, a dark coffee with whipping cream and chocolate shavings on top. Surely that would calm his nerves. However he never really got the chance to do just that. Merely a minute after the waitress had left to go make the coffees, Roderich seemed to finally appear. And the look on his face was the very sort he’d been dreading this entire time. Vash nervously flexed his gloved fingers and almost immediately cast his gaze slightly downward when he noted the way Roderich was looking at him. Roderich looked good—so good that he had a feeling that all of this had been deliberate so far. He did hate him after all then. “I just….wanted to tell you I was sorry, for what happened.” He swallowed nervously, these types of nerves being something he hadn’t felt in a long time—and it could tell in how for one, the edge of his tone was gone and his gaze focused more on the table in between them than his companion—a sight comparable to that of a scolded dog. “I can’t tell you all of what happened, but if you care to know, then I’ll tell you what I can.” He couldn’t help but start to chew at the bottom of his lip—an old habit he’d been trying to kick for a long time and had well….succeeded until now anyway. “I ordered us coffee while I waited—that is if you still like what you did when we were….” He bright green gaze flicked up at Roderich’s face for a second then before they went back downward. “I also wanted to know how you’ve been. If—you’ve been alright, and my father hasn’t hurt you too much.”

deltra of gangnam style

[Roderich Edelstein]

Vash Zwingli | 1078   Lol, Rod feeling bad? hahaha... no  *images belong to jilbird on DA Roderich - Vash  Vash looked nervous. That was the first thing Roderich noticed when the man looked away from him, down to the space between them on the table, and began apologizing. Roderich just continued sitting there, listening to him speak, never letting that proud, and yet fairly disinterested look slide off his face, not only for a moment. He needed to remind Vash that it was his time he was graciously parting with, allowing him a few minutes - and that would be all he was getting, right. He'd wasted enough time crying over the man in front of him. And so the young politician watched and listened, ignoring all the little details jumping out at him like Vash chewing his lip, like he used to do all the time, or fact he looked so much like a guilty but hopeful little dog as he finally met Roderich's gaze to inform him about the fact he ordered coffee for them, 'if you still like what we did when we were....' - were what? Best friends? Boyfriends? He could say it... Roderich wanted him to say it because he wanted it in the air before he could cast it back down, never to be there again, that phrase. No matter that he still loved coffee exactly the way he had as a teenager, when he'd split the bill for fancy whipped cream-topped treats with the man in front of him, sneaking hand holds and boldly risking a few seconds of footsie under cafe tables, so emboldened by the presences of booths to hide their affections. He could picture that life now - rose-colored as youth so often is, and he yet he feels like he's watching another person's life. Like it wasn't him in that scene, that thin brunet boy who smiled softly at Vash couldn't be him because he couldn't feel anything towardss Zwingli like he could. He could barely feel at all some days. "I won't be here long enough to enjoy it." He says in a rather dismissive tone. "I have other matters, of greater importance, to attend to, you see." The moment passed and Vash looked down again, and Roderich wondered if the man was afraid to risk openly staring at him. Roderich had no such reservations - he'd noted that Vash hadn't exactly grown in height, though he'd become noticeably more muscular and more of a 'man' in general (Roderich refused to dwell on it for more than second). Otherwise there was little to show what happened during his disappearance. The leather gloves were a new thing, he'd never worn those before, but overall? This was most definitely Vash Zwingli. “I also wanted to know how you’ve been. If—you’ve been alright, and my father hasn’t hurt you too much.” Roderich blinked owlishly behind his spectacles, the haughty expression on his face draining away into something cold and blank, the only sign at how angry he was being the flaring of his nostrils. How dare he? How dare he not know, with his father...? It was the impeccable timing of the waitress and the arrival of their coffee that stopped Roderich from immediately telling Vash outright what his father was doing to him, the complete indignity and shame at being blackmailed like this by someone he had little want to do it. Oh, he wanted to tell Vash how he resented every moment they'd spent together - the true reason he couldn't see himself in those memories - because all that 'innocence' was now being used to bind him, control him against his will and who could blame Roderich for being resentful of Vash when he had been so instrumental in his father's hold over him. And to be so essential to Roderich's greatest shame and not even know... The coffee proved a good distraction from having to answer Vash immediately, and Roderich took it for a second, deciding he might as well waste one more minute to gather his words. Vash had remembered the way he liked his coffee, even if he scarcely had the time to enjoy it like this these days. No, his morning routines these days consisted of a hastily gulped down cup of strong, black and bitter coffee and a quickly snuffed down cigarette as he hurried along to work. So little time now, for milky coffee with elaborate foam tops, dusted with chocolate powder. The first sip tasted of childhood, of dates long past, of a Roderich he didn't know, and as it rushed down his throat Roderich almost reconsidered his plan to tear Vash a new one. Almost. The truth was that all the sentimentally and nostalgia in the world wouldn't heal the wound from those years ago. Finally, he placed the cup down, and then his hands to his knees, clearing his throat to gain Vash's full attention and his eye contact. "Do you know why I came?" Roderich asks, though he's not seeking an answer, nor allowing one as he goes right on. "I came because your father has your phone - something he has reminded me steadily of all these past few months. I'm sure I do not have to explain what is still on that phone nor what exactly your father is threatening me with. I must confess it is highly inconvenient, to have the past constantly brought up - though I have attempted to move on, our past...relationship has inconvenienced me greatly, far too greatly to be normal. Otherwise, there is nothing I want from you, or even need. You won't give me an explanation for your disappearance? Fine, I don't need one - whatever it is, it matters little in the current state of affairs between us.  I may not be able to severe all ties with you as I wish too, Herr Zwingli, but I shall put to rest the ones that I can, if they haven't been already. That's why I decided to grace you with my presence, Zwingli, and you can take that as my current state of being if you wish." He leaned back after saying all of that, bringing the coffee back to his mouth and drinking, eyes narrowed and wary to see how Vash would react. Hopefully with less guilty puppy eyes - they were going to get the other nowhere.

I like my coffee like my heart

Black, bitter, and cold

made by remi of rilla go! & adoxography