The Last Time I Saw Matthew [Matthew]

[Deleted]

luck (♠) is (♥) a (♦) lady (♣)

word count

372

tags

@maple

notes

i was thinking this takes place after "all's hell that end's well" uwu also the thread name is an actual song by temposhark

T

heir cells were going to be changed again soon.

Ciel had been keeping track of the schedules when they were switched around, and the date for the next predicted time was approaching rapidly. Too fast for her liking; she was content with her current cellmate, Matthew. He was very nice and empathetic, albeit quiet and soft-spoken -- but Ciel had no qualms with such qualities. They had had pleasant conversation over the course of the time they had been forcibly placed together, and Matthew was by far Ciel's favorite person in this entire cursed place. She didn't want to lose probably the most trustworthy and understanding friend she had ever made in this hellhole.

She sat on her bed as she usually did, idly staring at the floor -- her hobby for the past several months since she had "graduated" from Weeds of Tomorrow. There wasn't much else to do, besides conversation, but Matthew hadn't spoken in a while; something must have occurred while she had been dragged to the arena for a match recently. As always, she was curious as to what exactly had happened, Ciel was not so rude as to question Matthew when he didn't want to speak. God knew he had had enough of that ridiculous callousness in his life.

Glancing over to the other's bed, he didn't seem to be in much of a talking mood. It was just as she had suspected. Her glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose. Readjusting them so they felt properly propped up and in place, Ciel longed for a deck of cards to shuffle just to keep her hands preoccupied with something. Or her dice would do the trick -- fiddling around with them with her fingers would be wonderful right about now, but unfortunately for her, she wouldn't be able to have either of those items for a long while now.

The best she could do was bide her time at the moment. The sound of something dripping was audible, and the cold began to seep through the already freezing walls. She shivered, automatically curling into herself with her arms and wrapped the blanket around herself in a practiced motion. There was nothing she could do for now.

by worldie for mona

[Deleted]

It was a cold kind of silence that filled him now, the kind of silence Matthew had once thought of as the kind that burned you from the inside out. It was like he remembered it, ticking away each pained minute that nothing was said and nothing was moved. Perhaps if he focused a bit more on his awareness of the cell he would notice something that broke the silence and provided some kind of comfort, but he was too busy trying to hold himself together as well to really do that too. There was only so much you could multi-task on, especially when you were falling apart. It was like he was a kid again, during the dark days when nothing but this silence came to him over and over.

What else was he supposed to? Every hope, dream, reasoning he had made since he had come here years ago had just been wiped out in a matter of hours. It was like he was scrabbling for something to hold on to, and he just couldn't gain a handle on anything he thought about. He was breaking down again.Truthfully Matthew was kind of angry with himself for doing this. He was mad at himself for not grasping on to his hopes and he was furious at himself for wallowing in self-pity now. No matter how much he let himself go crazy, it wasn't going to change anything and if nothing was gained from it, he should either work to make it better or simply let it go. What he was doing right now wasn't helping anybody.

Matthew ran his tongue over his busted lip, cracked and sore from so many times his teeth had went through it today. He was going to allow himself five minutes to grieve over it, and then he was going to get up and set his mind to getting out of here. It might take years, but he had always been patient enough and he sure wasn't going to make any progress going crazy over his crushed world. Sure he was still going to be out of it, there was nothing changing that, but he certainly wasn't about to let them win by driving himself insane.

Sitting up, he ignored the tingling feeling in his legs as they regained their feeling and turned to face the cellmate he had almost forgotten about. He sat loosely on his bed, forcing a small smile into place. He appreciated his friend's silence and gentleness in not forcing him to talk about it, but he supposed he better be friendly while they were still together. They weren't going to be together forever, and he found her one of his best friends he had made here. He pulled his own torn and thin blanket off of it's position beside him and held it out to her. She looked absolutely freezing, and it wasn't like he was going to use it anyway.

"Here."

Tag: Tag Here-- Ciel Blanc Word Count: 493
Notes: Here's some Matthew losing it. Sorry about taking so long