One Last Chance [Gilbert]

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

It was now or never.

When Ludwig had first arrived at the Weeds, he had been too wrapped up in his own despair to pay attention to anything. But once the pain had begun to fade and he'd started exploring and talking more, a few extremely intriguing rumors had eventually made their way to his ears. Any new arrival at the school sparked a wave of gossip, but the more unusual the new student, the further the whispers traveled. And so not long after Ludwig had pulled himself out of the worst of his depression, he'd started paying attention to the rumors, and the ones about an unusually pale student some grades above him who'd arrived not soon after he himself had caught his interest specially.

He had wanted to believe so badly that it was Gilbert. His older brother had been avoiding him for years but just to see a familiar face would have felt … reassuring or validating, somehow. A confirmation that Ludwig wasn't alone in this place, that he had an automatic ally on his side, no matter how distant. But the odds were against him. As far as Ludwig had known, Gil had never been a mutant. Not that he would have been able to tell, with how little he had seen of his brother. He isn't here, the boy had scolded himself after hearing the rumor for the twentieth time. He's not here and you're going to feel worse about getting your hopes up when you learn for certain that it's not him.

The trouble there was that as he'd found eventually, Ludwig couldn't have been more wrong.

It was Gilbert. The blond had shoved the suspicion deep under the rest of his thoughts, determined not to let himself get carried away, and he'd passed a year or so crushing every sprig of hope that wormed up when the rumors circulated anew. But on his way to classes one day, he'd cast a lucky glance at the building that housed the older students and caught a glimpse of the pale-haired student through a window, walking in step with him. The haircut, the eyes, the face -- all of it was unmistakably familiar, and Ludwig had frozen, shocked. Gilbert had always been treated badly by their parents, presumably because of his appearance, but to realize that he'd apparently been concealing an ability this entire time as well put Ludwig off his guard. He'd frantically waved and pounded on the window, trying to catch the other's eye across the distance between the buildings, but Gilbert either hadn't heard him or had ignored him.

Undaunted, Ludwig had made it his mission to see his brother, but at the time, he hadn't realized the obstacles standing in his way. Gilbert was four years older than him, and by the time he left Weeds for the Underground, Ludwig would still be stuck in the younger dorms, for one. And moving around the school when you were a student there was anything but easy. Ludwig had fast learned a variety of ways to get around locks in the months following his arrival, but he used those tricks sparingly, and the locks weren't really the problem. He had a hard time preventing himself from looking suspicious, and his nerves overtook him. That hadn't stopped him from trying to reach Gilbert's building, but each time he'd gotten caught and punished.  He just wanted to see his brother, but no one seemed to understand that, and after every defeat he spent a day or two in angry and unhappy silence.  His efforts had always been in vain.

Not today.

Gilbert would be leaving Weeds in a few days' time and Ludwig genuinely didn't know whether or not he'd ever see his brother again. He sometimes suspected that Gilbert didn't want to see him -- he'd gotten so close sometimes but his brother always moved right out of his reach. Right now, he didn't care; he was going to be selfish for once.  Even if Gilbert wanted to avoid him, never wanted to see him again, he was at least going to demand a proper goodbye, something he'd never gotten from anyone in his family.

Fueled by determination and perhaps a little personal anger, Ludwig had made it into the older students' housing with surprising easiness. Yes, it probably helped that he'd grown several centimeters taller from when he last tried, and that he'd gotten a little more built, and that he'd borrowed a pair of glasses and had worn his hair in a different style. But he'd broken the lock from his dorm and strolled across a courtyard to the older students' dorms before breaking the lock there, and not once had anyone interrupted him. It almost worried Ludwig a little; it shouldn't be so easy.

The hallway inside was fairly busy; all of the older students had been assigned to clean and fix things up before they moved, which most were doing without complaint. Ludwig dodged around the clusters of people before climbing one staircase, than another. On the third floor the activity continued just as busily, although some of the doors had been shut, presumably to keep out the buzz of chatter. Ludwig glanced down at his hand: the number 315 was written there in ink. It had taken a lot of bribery and promises of help to get that information, and he sincerely hoped it was right. Stepping around patches of freshly mopped floor and scanning the distinctly not-pale figures that filled the corridor, Ludwig made his way to door 315.

It was shut.

Had… had Gilbert already left? No, that didn't make sense, the mutants all left at the same time. But… if he wasn't here… Ludwig clenched his hands into fists. He had to try, of course, but if he'd come all this way, dodged all these traps for nothing, and his brother moved to the Underground and was bought and Ludwig never saw him again…

He and his brother may not have been close for a long, long time, but that wasn't the way Ludwig wanted to leave things if this was indeed the end.

People were starting to shoot him curious looks; they recognized a stranger and knew he didn't belong here. He was running out of time. Ludwig took a deep breath: his hands had begun to shake and he steadied them. Raising a fist, he rapped sharply on the closed door before taking a step back.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt?" he called out, before pulling off the borrowed glasses and shaking his head, letting his hair fall back to its usual style. Gilbert would probably better recognize him that way… if Gilbert was there, or if he didn't decide to shut the door in Ludwig's face.

[Deleted]

Graduation was coming up. It was literally right around the corner and Gilbert wasn't sure if he was nervous about going to the Underground or just stressed from the past few months. He had the feeling Ludwig finally figured out he was at the school. Where he had been able to see glimpses his his little brother here and there in the common areas of the school, he had never felt the need to hide. But for some reason he felt like recently Ludwig was extremely attentive whenever he was in places where the entire school could congregate. That attentiveness made Gilbert anxious. What could Ludwig possibly be looking for besides him? Why would he even want to be looking for his worthless big brother that abandoned him?

Gilbert groaned and curled around his pillow, ice crackling as it conformed to his body. His roommates easily figured out his mood this morning, if the rows of snowflakes sculptures around his bed hadn't been clue enough, him actually being awake in the morning was enough to make them want to skedaddle. Gilbert didn't willingly wake up in the morning unless he was feeling depressed and simply hadn't gone to sleep the night before. Which was the case today. His thoughts had kept him awake all night, so he resorted to ice sculptures to try to distract himself. With his roommates departure for the day, Gilbert took it as permission to expand his icy creations across the entirety of the room.

Everything was coated in a thin layer of snow, which fell from the ceiling. Gilbert continuously cycled the snow on the ground back to the ceiling to fall to keep it from piling up too much. Icicles and snowflake sculptures hung from the ceiling. Countless of sculptures lined his desk and bed. Dogs, cats, penguins, horses, unicorns, every animal he could think of had an ice replica somewhere in his room. But no amount of cold or sculptures had helped his mood so far. Graduation was so close and he hadn't seen his brother in two years, truthfully spoken with him longer yet. Who knew if he would ever so Ludwig again. He didn't know if he ever wanted to see Ludwig again. It was the selfish side of him that made it so difficult.

The big brother side of him wanted to throw away all worries and concerns and just see his brother one more time. Just hold him for a second and ask how he was, let him know that even if he didn't want it, his big brother would always love him. But the selfish side didn't want to risk seeing Ludwig. Seeing Ludwig would resolve the burning question that had plagued Gilbert since the day they were taken to the school. Did Ludwig hate him? Did he hate him for not being there for him, for hiding things from him? If he were Ludwig, Gilbert would definitely hate him. So the selfish Gilbert didn't want to know that answer to that question because he wanted to be spared the pain of knowing once and for all Ludwig hated him. Gilbert wasn't sure he could carry on with the certain knowledge he no longer had a place in his brother's heart.

A sharp and firm knock sounded on the door. The ice coating the walls vibrated with the impact, several parts quivered and broke off to the ground in a beautiful tinkling sound. Gilbert closed his eyes and listened to the chiming sound echo around the icy room. It was so relaxing. He almost got distracted enough to forget what had caused the ice to fall when he heard an unfamiliar voice call his name from the other side of the door. His eyes shot open and he sat up, the frost that had settled over him fell to the ground a mound. His roommates would have been sure to spread the word that 315 was a 'frozen wasteland' (Gilbert preferred the term winter wonderland, but alas no one seemed to share his complete appreciation for all things cold) by now. Whoever was knocking was out of the know, and not many on this floor were out of the know.

It would be so easy to pretend he wasn't here and go back to burying himself in snow, but curiosity got the best of him. Who the hell would be asking for him right now? He pushed off his bed and slide across the iced floor to the door. He realized a little too late that he had pushed off a tad too hard, thus went sliding right into the door with a loud thump. Snickering at his mistake, Gilbert made the ice around the door join the snow cycle at the ceiling. He contemplated not melting the ice on the floor around the doorway, but figured he better create a solid footing in the threshold in case it was some teacher or something. The ice on the floor joined the snow cycle as well. With that taken care of, Gilbert brushed some of the snow out of his hair and opened the door.

His entire room was covered in ice, but nothing would ever make him freeze like the sight on the other side of the door.

It was Ludwig. His little Ludwig that wasn't so little anymore. God, how old was he now? Almost 16. He'd grown so much. He was already as tall as Gilbert, if not slightly taller. Quick glances at a distance did no justice to how much the boy had grown out. Already he looked so strong and sturdy, looked so adult like. But those baby blue eyes, despite all they had seen and been through, they still held a glimmer of the innocent little brother Gilbert loved with all his heart. He opened his mouth, but no noise could get through the lump in his throat. Of all the things to happen, he had never thought Ludwig would show up at his door. Did he really hate him that much? He had to hunt him down to his room to let him know before he left? Not to say he didn't deserve it…

Gilbert gulped and dropped his hand from the doorknob. Might as well get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid, quick and fast so the pain wouldn't linger. He lifted his chin and squeezed his eyes shut. "Okay, get a punch in before I chicken out."

Words: 1078

Tags: Ludwig A. Beilschmidt;

made by MISSO on IOF

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

The high clear sound of crystal breaking and collapsing echoed from behind the closed door, and Ludwig gave the wood an anxious, wary look. He had no idea what that meant, whether or not he'd triggered something bad, but the way the students in the hallway spread further away from him didn't entirely bode well. Maybe Gilbert had earned a terrible reputation; he'd always been kind of brash and arrogant, although Ludwig had never minded, but such an attitude would be a good way to spark fights, and Ludwig also knew that Gilbert never backed down from those. He realized he was holding his breath, and let it out in a sharp exhale, still waiting.

Something hit the door with a thud and Ludwig startled, nearly stepping back, but a moment later the nearly inaudible sound of quiet laughter followed, laughter that sounded unnervingly familiar. Ludwig felt some of the blood drain from his face; for heaven's sake, he didn't have to be so frightened or worried, this was his brother. But, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him, a lot can change in such little time. Maybe Gilbert had disowned his entire family, Ludwig included. Maybe he had other things to concern him with now. Or maybe… Ludwig shook his head, dreading even the thought of the possibility, but it was there nonetheless, maybe Gilbert had been so poorly behaved at Weeds that he'd been tormented and punished until he'd nearly lost his mind. Such an event was rare, but Ludwig had seen one or two of the results wandering the hallways, shivering and laughing to themselves with wide, frightened eyes.

Before he had any more time to dwell in the dark places his thoughts had taken him, the door swung open. Ludwig took a deep breath.

Gilbert wasn't gone yet -- not mentally, not to the Underground. And a massive weight lifted from Ludwig's shoulders with just that realization. He looked well, really -- skinny, of course, and for some reason Ludwig had been so certain Gilbert would be taller. But his pale messy hair, his red eyes, everything looked nearly exactly as Ludwig remembered it. But the expression on his brother's face gave him pause, and the greeting he'd prepared died in his throat. Gilbert looked genuinely unhappy: his eyes were filled with reluctance. That… wasn't exactly what Ludwig had expected, and fear began crystalizing like ice in his veins: had Gilbert really not wanted to see him? Was that why he hadn't managed to get to his brother before now?

"Okay, get a punch in before I chicken out."

A small frown crept onto Ludwig's face, although his eyes remained wide and anxious. Why on earth did Gilbert expect to be hit? He'd even shut his eyes and looked for all the world like a man facing down a firing squad. Ludwig wasn't here to kill Gilbert, or even punch him. He just wanted to say goodbye. The blond felt a stinging in his eyes; perhaps he'd gotten his hopes up far too high that his brother would be smiling about this. But even if Gilbert expected a punch, Ludwig wasn't going to give that to him. Squaring his shoulders, he stepped towards the other man with a purpose, and instead wrapped his arms around Gilbert in a tight hug. His brother felt cold.

"I'm not going to punch you," Ludwig insisted fiercely. "I just…" His voice trailed off; even the lukewarm reception he'd gotten hadn't lessened how upset he felt about his brother's departure. "I know you're leaving soon and I wanted to see you before that happened," he mumbled out in one long rushed exhale before he could lose his composure. Perhaps even the short hug had been too much: he should be backing off, but he didn't want to.

[Deleted]

When no blow immediately came, Gilbert peeked an eye open to see what the hold up was. Ludwig was frowning, but wasn't making any moves to land a blow. What was up with that? Ludwig almost looked upset with Gilbert's offer. A shot of hope coursed through his veins, but Gilbert fought it back with all his might. He couldn't stand to be disappointed. Any inkling of hopes, only to be crushed, would leave him so broken. He was so fragile when it came to Ludwig. Why did this have to be happening… As Ludwig squared his shoulders and took a step forward, Gilbert tensed and thanked himself for not letting that hope live.

But then he felt strong arms around him and he was suddenly pulled into Ludwig in a ridiculously tight hug. Was this some kind of sick joke? Gilbert felt light headed and he was fairly certain he wouldn't have stayed standing if it weren't for Ludwig's strong hold. What was going on? Why would Ludwig hugging him? Did Ludwig- No he couldn't even let himself think about the possibility. But what other explanation could there be? His mind went blank the second Ludwig started to talk.

"I'm not going to punch you. I just…" Gilbert winched, was ready to pull away from this painful hug before the painful truth came, but then Ludwig resumed speaking. "I know you're leaving soon and I wanted to see you before that happened."

Gilbert's heart thumped loudly in his ears. Ludwig wanted to see him. He wanted to see him and didn't want to punch him. Just wanted to see him before he left. There was no other explanation than Ludwig did not hate his guts. That was more than Gilbert could ever wish for. His stiff arms suddenly had life again and he was about to hug his brother back, when glanced over Ludwig's shoulder and met a slew of curious eyes. Shit Ludwig technically wasn't supposed to be here. Gilbert would rather keep rumors down and keep his brother to himself for as long as possible.

It was all too ease to form ice under their feet and slide back a few feet into the room without breaking their hug. He made the ice underfoot dissolve once it achieved its purpose, and sent it to close the door and seal it shut, in case anyone should try to barge in. Safe in his room, surrounded by his comforting winter wonderland and away from prying eyes, Gilbert suddenly felt the weight of years of forced separation. Did Ludwig really not hate him? It seemed too good to be true.

He finally brought his arms up to hug his brother back. He clung to him, still trying to convince himself this was real. God, Ludwig had grown so much. The tears were coming, Gilbert could feel them stinging his eyes, but he fought them back. As long as he didn't make eye contact, he could probably stay strong. So he buried his face in Ludwig's shoulder and rambled. "How can you not hate me. Please tell me you didn't come all this way to hug me and give me hope just to let me know you really do hate me. I think I'm dreaming, fuck, I mean I could be hallucinating for all I know. I'm happy, so, so, so happy. I've wanted to see you for so- Fuck Ludwig I'm so sorry. I'm the worst big brother. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. If you can find it in yourself, please, please forgive me." Had he started crying? Shit he probably had, but he couldn't really feel his face. He couldn't really feel anything except for this tight hug with his brother.

Words: 619

Tags: Ludwig A. Beilschmidt;

made by MISSO on IOF

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

Gilbert didn't return his hug immediately, and Ludwig worried that he'd done the wrong thing. Gilbert had been avoiding him because Gilbert no longer cared about him, and now here he was, unable to read the atmosphere and making things awkward for everyone involved. But right when he decided that maybe he ought to let go and step back and apologize, the room gave a sudden lurch. Glancing around wildly, Ludwig hung onto his brother out of necessity now as things began to move. Confused, he scanned around wildly for an explanation, hearing the door shut behind him with a slam.

The floor seemed to slide under his feet. A quick glance down revealed a spreading sheet of ice that had somehow formed over the dorm's floor, and now the blond took a better look at the room. It was snowing, indoors: the delicate flakes fell from the ceiling to the floor before being whipped gently upwards, spiraling in a continuous cycle. The furniture in the room had been blanketed with a light dusting of the same snow, and ice had crept up the walls and across the ceiling, where it had descended into row after row of glistening icicles. And there were decorations too: animals shaped entirely out of ice, horses and penguins and dogs and cats, all of which glittered with the clarity of crystal, none of which were melting. Ludwig took everything in, wide-eyed. Had… had this been Gilbert's work?

The room stopped moving and another look at the ground revealed that the ice they had been standing on had vanished -- not melting, but simply disappearing. How had he never realized that Gilbert was able to do this? He hadn't seen Gilbert in ages but there should have been some clue, and he'd spent so much time following his brother around that Ludwig felt certain he should have picked up on it. But his confusion and amazement at finally learning what abilities his brother had been hiding quickly vanished when at long last, Gilbert returned the hug. Ludwig sank into it, resting his head on his brother's shoulder with a quiet relieved sigh; the tears that had been threatening to fall before returned with a vengeance.

"How can you not hate me. Please tell me you didn't come all this way to hug me and give me hope just to let me know you really do hate me." Ludwig blinked, bewildered. Gilbert thought he hated him? "I think I'm dreaming, fuck, I mean I could be hallucinating for all I know. I'm happy, so, so, so happy. I've wanted to see you for so- Fuck Ludwig I'm so sorry. I'm the worst big brother. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. If you can find it in yourself, please, please forgive me." He heard the tremor in the other's voice and realized Gilbert was near tears as well, and tightened his hug.

"Why do you think I hate you?" he asked, his voice steady only out of his genuine confusion. "I've never hated you." And he shook his head firmly, "You're not the worst big brother and…" Ludwig thought for a moment, then shook his head again, "I don't know what you've done that you think you need forgiving for. I really don't. You haven't done anything wrong." Sure, Gilbert had avoided Ludwig for a while… he knew that. But Gilbert probably had his reasons -- especially with an ability like this, the blond could think of a few possibilities off the top of his head -- and he wasn't about to pin the blame for that on his brother, not when he'd finally reached him.

"I really wanted to see you too," Ludwig spoke, "and it was a pain in the ass getting into this place without getting caught, so I'm not going to leave anytime soon." He wanted explanations, of course, but more than that he just wanted to spend time with his brother, his brother who didn't hate him and was happy to see him too. That was more than Ludwig could have ever hoped for, and that realization was what drove the tears he'd been holding back over the edge.

[Deleted]

Gilbert was thankful for Ludwig hugging him tighter. It gave him some sense of stability and a reassurance that this was indeed reality. "Why do you think I hate you? I've never hated you." The so obvious confusion in Ludwig's voice was a grip on Gilbert's heart, made the words all the more believable. If Ludwig didn't understand why Gilbert would think so, it surely meant the thought hadn't crossed his mind. In all these years of Gilbert pulling back and pushing him away, Ludwig never thought to hate his big brother. If anything, that was enough to bring the full on waterworks, but then Ludwig elaborated further. "I don't know what you've done that you think you need forgiving for. I really don't. You haven't done anything wrong."

That was all it took to break Gilbert. With a ragged gasp for breath, Gilbert clung to Ludwig even tighter as relieved sobs overwhelmed him. Ludwig didn't blame him. He didn't blame him for not being there for him when he needed him most as a big brother. He didn't blame him for not trusting him with his secret. He didn't blame him for avoiding him these past two years. He didn't blame Gilbert for anything, didn't think he had done anything wrong. It lifted all the guilt, the worries that had weighed on him these past two years. Ludwig still loved him, it was too good to be true.

Through his crying and whirling thoughts, Gilbert almost missed what Ludwig said next. "I really wanted to see you too, and it was a pain in the ass getting into this place without getting caught, so I'm not going to leave anytime soon." It only egged on Gilbert's tears, adding guilt back into the source. He had been so selfish, going out of his way to avoid Ludwig and making sure Ludwig didn't know he existed in the school. He should have been using the past two years to make up for the mistakes he made before they were sent to the school, but he hadn't. He'd been to afraid of his own shadows to put himself at the mercy of his perfect little brother. How could he have ever doubted Ludwig for a moment? How could he have ever called himself a big brother?

He wasn't sure how long he just cried, clinging to Ludwig like a child. It was really pathetic, really. He was the big brother here, all of this was of his own making, his own fault. He had no right to cry into his little brother and take comfort in his presence, but here he was, doing just that. His selfishness knew no bounds at this point. But hey, if Ludwig could forgive him for his past transgressions, surely he wouldn't hold this weakness against him. So with that thought in mind, Gilbert let himself sniffle and hiccup out all the guilt, sorrow, stress, worry he had carried with him for too long. And when all of that was out of his system, the relief came back, but his eyes had run dry, so he just trembled with silent sobs until the relief was something he could handle.

With a deep breath, Gilbert steeled himself to finally look Ludwig in the face again. As if he hadn't just been sobbing like a child into his little brother's should, Gilbert took a small step back so he could hold Ludwig's face in his hands. How did this boy have such a strong jaw? What happened to that cute, round face with cute baby-fat cheeks? Why did Gilbert ever deny himself the chance to see Ludwig grown into this? He shot a weak smile to Ludwig and pat his cheeks. "Shit, Luddy, look at you! You better stop growing or you're going to get taller than me! And what's up with these arms, huh?" He let go of his face to grope one of Ludwig's biceps. "Are you shitting me? I was a fucking twig at your age and look at this shit! You have more build to you than I do! Unacceptable! I thought you were supposed to have fire powers, how is that giving you this crazy physique?!"

And suddenly it was as if the years of separation had never happened. Gilbert laughed, laughed with such ease it surprised him, but in a comforting way. "Okay, so you are apparently a saint and can forgive me for being a shit older brother, but doesn't change the fact I was a shit older brother." He made the ice return to the floor underneath them. All to easily he sent them gliding to his bed, sending them in a little spin before they plopped down on the frozen mattress. The force of their landing made the ice layer break with a crunch. Gilbert snorted and sent the ice on his bed into the snow cycle, figuring no one besides him enjoyed sitting on an icy bed.

"So you're welcome to stay as long as you want, which I hope is a long time, because I want to continue to be a shit older brother and be selfish and demand you tell me everything I've missed. Have you made friends in school? How are your classes going? How is your control over your ability? Have you been eating well? I suspect you have with this ridiculous build you got going on, but I feel obligated to ask. Got your eye on any pretty girls? Hmm? Or boys, I bet you're popular with the twinks. I bet you're totally the top of your grade with everything, am I right? I bet I'm right. Okay, I'm going to shut up now because I just want to hear everything." He couldn't believe how easy his lopsided grin came to him, but he loved that ease and hoped it never went away now. God he was so giddy he could burst into girlish giggles in his delight. Ludwig was here, in his room and not hating him and happy to see him and it wasn't a dream!

Words: 1014

Tags: Ludwig A. Beilschmidt;

made by MISSO on IOF

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

Although he got no words from Gilbert in response, the quiet sobs against his shoulder answered every question Ludwig had been holding in. Maybe his brother had felt guilty about not being able to help him avoid capture, but Ludwig held no grudges over that: the police assigned to round up mutants would have taken him down too (as they obviously had at some point). If Gilbert had felt upset about withdrawing over struggles with his abilities, Ludwig understood that far too well. Perhaps ice and snow wouldn't have been as damaging as fire, but as a child he'd woken up on far too many nights with the afterimages of a nightmare in his head. He'd been terrified of hurting or even killing the people closest to him and his response to that fear was to withdraw. Gilbert must have felt the same way.

But Ludwig didn't much want to think about the intricacies of that right now. Gilbert didn't hate him, and that meant the world to him. Even if Gilbert vanished from his life after today, the wound that had been made between them was slowly repairing. He wept quietly, gratefully, into the other's shoulder, shaking a little from the sheer relief he felt: the one person in his family that he genuinely cared about wasn't going to turn his back on him.

When he and Gilbert finally seemed to have both exhausted their supply of tears, Ludwig felt the other pull away, and took the opportunity to wipe his eyes. A moment later he felt hands on his face and, surprised, he held still, although he met Gilbert's gaze without flinching.

"Shit, Luddy, look at you! You better stop growing or you're going to get taller than me!"

The nickname brought a weak smile to Ludwig's face, although he shrugged in response; he hadn't realized he'd gotten so tall either. It almost made him feel bad: little brothers weren't supposed to be the tall ones.

"And what's up with these arms, huh? Are you shitting me? I was a fucking twig at your age and look at this shit! You have more build to you than I do! Unacceptable! I thought you were supposed to have fire powers, how is that giving you this crazy physique?!"

"I-I don't know!" Ludwig protested, his cheeks turning pink. "I just exercise some, really, I don't know." He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head "I don't think the fire's got anything to do with it." Although that wasn't something he'd considered before. He'd have to investigate further.

Gilbert's laughter seemed to shatter whatever remaining walls that still lay between them; Ludwig's weak smile widened a little bit, although he shook his head firmly when Gilbert insisted that he'd still been a poor older brother.

"You weren't," he insisted firmly. "I'm sure you had a lot of things to-- hey!" The floor ice had made a return, although now that he'd done it once, Ludwig kept his balance more easily when Gilbert sent the two of them sliding towards his snow-covered bed. Ludwig landed next to his brother on the mattress with a crunch of breaking frost; the snow and ice trapped under his legs quickly melted into his clothes, and Ludwig hastily heated the dampness away from his skin. Gilbert sent the rest of the remaining snow flurrying back up towards the ceiling, and Ludwig followed it with his gaze, briefly entranced.

"So you're welcome to stay as long as you want, which I hope is a long time, because I want to continue to be a shit older brother and be selfish and demand you tell me everything I've missed. Have you made friends in school? How are your classes going?"

Ludwig's expression switched to alarm. "H-hey--"

"How is your control over your ability? Have you been eating well? I suspect you have with this ridiculous build you got going on, but I feel obligated to ask. Got your eye on any pretty girls? Hmm?"

Ludwig's face went red. "Gilbert--"

"Or boys, I bet you're popular with the twinks. I bet you're totally the top of your grade with everything, am I right? I bet I'm right. Okay, I'm going to shut up now because I just want to hear everything."

Still red in the face, Ludwig waited, mainly to see if Gilbert had meant what he said about shutting up. The barrage of questions had been almost overwhelming, and while they were justified, and Ludwig wanted to ask Gilbert about his life as well, appropriately Gilbert had made an avalanche out of the entire thing.

"I, I guess I've made a few friends, and my classes are going well," he started, trying to recall exactly what Gilbert had even asked. "I mean… they're not always exciting but it's school, so I want to do well." He ran a hand through his hair anxiously; in truth, Gilbert was right about him being at the top of his grade. He was one of the best students there, but he didn't like bragging. "I'm not into any girls and I don't know what a twink is," he added after a moment, his cheeks flushing, "so that's that." He hoped Gilbert wouldn't press the subject; although Ludwig had managed to make a few good friends, his social life in Weeds was a wreck. He hung out with the same one or two people and spent most of his time studying.

"I've been eating fine, if you call the cafeteria food that," he went on, "and… I'm a lot better at control. I guess all I needed was more practice somewhere I didn't have to worry about burning everything down." He held a hand out in front of him; in an instant, his fingers were covered with rolling orange flames that flicked upwards and turned parts of the indoor snow flurry into steam. After a moment, the fire extinguished and Ludwig drew his hand back. "A lot better, see? Although I can't do anything like this, not at all." He gestured to the parade of ice animals working their way around the room.

"Those are amazing, Gil," he offered with another smile, before turning the questions right back on his brother. "What have you been doing this whole time? What's your favorite class?" After a moment of hesitation, he added in a more serious voice, "Are you worried about going to the Underground?"

[Deleted]

Gilbert laughed and poked at Ludwig's reddened cheeks. How cute~! He seemed to be making sure Gilbert would actually shut up, so he made a zipping gesture to his lips and nodded reassuringly. When he said he wanted to hear everything, he seriously meant it. It was hard to hear everything about Ludwig if he didn't stop talking to listen. That was only common sense, right? But, okay, Gilbert couldn't blame Ludwig for doubting his sense of common sense. Gilbert grinned and pulled his feet up on the bed to sit crisscross, elbow resting on his knee so he could prop his head in his hand to watch Ludwig as he spoke.

"I, I guess I've made a few friends, and my classes are going well. I mean… they're not always exciting but it's school, so I want to do well." Ah good to see some things never changed. Even in such a stupid situation like this school, Ludwig refused to let his studies slip and be less than perfect. Was it even possible for Ludwig to be less than perfect? Probably not. There was no one more perfect than little Luddy.

"I'm not into any girls and I don't know what a twink is." Gilbert bit his lip to hold back a small laugh. He knew Ludwig wouldn't appreciate being laughed at for not knowing something, but Christ how was he even supposed to explain what a twink was? Twinks were twinks and Gilbert couldn't think for the life of him of a definition to supply Ludwig with. Actually, why did he even bring up twinks? The only reason he knew about the terms was because Mathias once mockingly called him one. Fuck, he didn't want to explain that to Ludwig! "So that's that." Ludwig then concluded, obviously in hopes of closing that subject. Well luck was on his side, because Gilbert was more than happy to let that topic slide.

"I've been eating fine, if you call the cafeteria food that, and… I'm a lot better at control. I guess all I needed was more practice somewhere I didn't have to worry about burning everything down." He put his hand out and instantly had Gilbert's attention focused on that hand. It was amazing, flames came out of no where and covered his fingers. Logic told Gilbert that Ludwig was fine, this was his power and it couldn't burn him. Instinct screamed at him to put the fire out immediately. Thankfully, Ludwig put the fire out on his own before Gilbert's instinct won over and he dumped a pile of snow over him. "A lot better, see? Although I can't do anything like this, not at all. Those are amazing, Gil."

Now it was Gilbert's turn to blush. He looked away a tad sheepishly and shrugged. "They're not that spectacular. Just the result of my endless boredom and desire to play with ice. My roommates hate it when I do stuff like this," he mimicked Ludwig's gesture, only to encompass the entire winter wonderland he had turned the room into. Then it was his turn to receive a barrage of questions. Best to start with the easiest question, right?

"I'm not all that worried about going to the Underground. I mean, sure there's a chance I might get bought right out of graduation, but I really hope I don't. Rich ass fuckfaces buying fresh meat. Eugh count me out. Besides, life of luxury as some lap dog just doesn't suit me. I'd rather be roughing it out in some damp cell or taking my chances with actual working jobs from auctions." He shrugged and started twirling frost around his finger.

"As for what I've been doing, I mean not really much of anything. I've been going to classes, well sorta, for the most part. Enough that I haven't gotten into too much trouble. I guess you could say I've made some friends. I mostly like playing around with ice stuff, that's how stuff has gotten to the ridiculous level of detail they're at now. They're still improving too! I bet sooner or later I'll be able to make exact replicas of stuff by just thinking about it! Just gotta keep practicing!" He reluctance to talk quickly died as he changed the top from what he had been up to at school to his iced hobbies. But, hey now it was his turn to ask questions again.

"So have anything you feel like sharing with big bro?" For all the questions he had, his mind was suddenly drawing a blank on what to ask Ludwig. He grinned and spun around to flop back onto Ludwig's lap. Ah yes, some kind of contact with his brother was much better. Jeez he was like a furnace! "Oh! Tell me more about your friends! I wanna hear about the special people you've deemed as friend!"

Words: 812

Tags: Ludwig A. Beilschmidt;

made by MISSO on IOF

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

Even as he gently tried to defend himself from the fingers his brother jabbed at his cheeks, Ludwig didn't feel the least bit upset, the least bit bothered. Normally teasing like this would have him snapping at his assailant, but he just couldn't here: he felt too overwhelmed with relief and happiness to get remotely mad. Gilbert didn't even interrupt once while he was answering the flurry of questions that had been directed at him -- although Ludwig was able to read a few of his brother's thoughts simply by watching his face. Not that he was especially good at that, but Gilbert wore his emotions and ideas so plainly that even Ludwig could guess at what his brother wanted to say. Finally, he got the chance to turn the conversation around, keeping respectfully silent as his questions were answered in turn.

"They're not that spectacular. Just the result of my endless boredom and desire to play with ice. My roommates hate it when I do stuff like this,"

Ludwig laughed, short and sharp. No, really? he wanted to retaliate. The room was undeniably beautiful, a crisp clear December day indoors, but undeniably most people didn't enjoy having their beds covered in a thick blanket of snow with any great regularity. At least, Ludwig assumed Gilbert was talking about the snow and ice. The sculptures, now, those would be amazing anywhere. He had a hard time believing anyone could dislike those.

"I'm not all that worried about going to the Underground. I mean, sure there's a chance I might get bought right out of graduation, but I really hope I don't. Rich ass fuckfaces buying fresh meat. Eugh count me out. Besides, life of luxury as some lap dog just doesn't suit me. I'd rather be roughing it out in some damp cell or taking my chances with actual working jobs from auctions."

The cautious happiness on Ludwig's face receded; the blond's eyes were more anxious now. He wasn't sure how to feel about Gilbert being bought. And he was entirely aware that he had never expected either of them to be in this situation. Talk of being sold, of owners, of everything Ludwig had learned over the last few years, those things probably never entered the minds of non-mutants. Briefly, he wondered what it would be like to rewind time and erase his memories of Weeds. He wanted to have an honest conversation, brother to brother, that didn't involve aspects of the lives they had been forced into. But the time for that had passed and disappeared. This was a part of who they were, how they had been singled out, and there was no avoiding it. Like all raw edges, Ludwig suspected, it would dull with time.

Perhaps it was just hard to accept the idea of anyone "owning" Gilbert. He'd said it himself: the life of a lap dog, someone's fancy mutant pet, didn't suit him in the least.

"…I guess you could say I've made some friends. I mostly like playing around with ice stuff, that's how stuff has gotten to the ridiculous level of detail they're at now. They're still improving too! I bet sooner or later I'll be able to make exact replicas of stuff by just thinking about it! Just gotta keep practicing!"

"I hope I can see that, when you get to that level," Ludwig interrupted for just a moment. "Although you're already really good. Maybe you could be an artist someday. I'm really glad you've made some friends too." Good friends didn't come easily here.

"So have anything you feel like sharing with big bro?"

"Hmm?" Ludwig glanced at the other, then his brow furrowed as he thought. There was so much he wanted to share, really, but where to even start? With the most important stuff, perhaps, but what counted as important? He hadn't categorized anything at all. The blond's thoughts were still occupied as Gilbert swiveled around and unceremoniously fell onto his lap, and he startled, knocking against the wall and showering the both of them with a sprinkling of ice.

"Oh! Tell me more about your friends! I wanna hear about the special people you've deemed as friend!"

"Are you actually comfortable like that?" Ludwig couldn't help asking, before returning to the question. "Well… there's a group of us that really like books, so I'm friends with them. I'm not allowed in the library because of the fire." He scowled, still sore about that decision, but shook his head after a moment, "Anyways, there are a couple of cool people there. Mihai brings me books and, uh…" Ludwig hesitated, then spoke up again, "You can't tell anyone this, because I'll get in trouble, but this guy Arthur and I, we sneak into the library at night sometimes. I can heat the locks up so they bend.[/font]" He briefly felt intensely proud about being able to do that, then realized he'd just been talking about books this entire time. He hoped Gilbert didn't think that was too unbearably nerdy.

"Um, my best friend's probably Feliciano. This little Italian kid. He's kind of weird, but he, he helped me out when I first got here." It was an unusual story that lead to an unusual friendship, but the two of them had become close. Feliciano has started out as a spitfire and a bully, always angling for a fight, but now he was the only person who knew Ludwig's deepest fears and closest secrets, the one person (aside from Gilbert, now) that Ludwig felt he could genuinely trust. And he, in turn, would have fallen on a sword for the brunette. More than anything, Feliciano made life at Weeds bearable, even fun at times, and Ludwig considered that priceless.

"There's a place on the roof we hang out," Ludwig explained. "You'd probably like him a lot, actually. He's easy to get along with and he can be really cheerful." Shrugging with a quick half-smile, Ludwig sat up a little straighter.

"Anyways, those are my friends. I haven't really met too many people" He hadn't made the effort, more like it. But he had to get top marks in his classes, that was what was most important. He didn't want to spend his life trapped in the Underground, and to make sure that didn't happen, he needed skills and knowledge. "Have you got a best friend?" he asked curiously, picking up a handful of nearby snow and dusting it playfully over Gilbert's face; about half of it turned to rain as it fell. "What's your favorite class? You haven't been skipping classes, have you?" Ludwig fixed his brother with a nervous look. Even before they'd been sent to Weeds, Gilbert had been a bit of a truant. But from that arose a worse possibility. "You haven't gotten in any trouble, have you?[/font]" he asked, worry written in his expression. He'd always found Gilbert's brash attitude impressive, a level of confidence he could never hope to reach, but Gilbert tended to ignore or outright break rules, and that had never been dealt with kindly here. If Gilbert had been hurt...

[Deleted]

In response to the inquiry of comfort, Gilbert turned to wrap his arms around Ludwig's waist with a snicker. How could he not be comfortable snuggling with his precious little brother that he hadn't been able to hold for two years? Well he could have been able to hold his baby brother some over these two years if he hadn't been stupid and thought Ludwig hated him… But ah, no way to change that. He nuzzled Ludwig's stomach obnoxiously before settling down to listen to him again.

"Well… there's a group of us that really like books, so I'm friends with them. I'm not allowed in the library because of the fire. Anyways, there are a couple of cool people there. Mihai brings me books and, uh… You can't tell anyone this, because I'll get in trouble, but this guy Arthur and I, we sneak into the library at night sometimes. I can heat the locks up so they bend." Oh? Gilbert grinned and poked Ludwig's stomach. Little Luddy was a little rebel! Sneaking about and breaking locks, to get into the library sure, but it was still breaking rules! He couldn't be prouder. Even without Gilbert's influence, Ludwig was making great decisions on how to have some fun with life! Actually, ow, that thought hurt. Ludwig had been doing pretty well without his big brother. Sure, that was what Gilbert had wanted because he wanted Ludwig to be happy and well of without him… But to become a delinquent on his own?!

"Um, my best friend's probably Feliciano. This little Italian kid. He's kind of weird, but he, he helped me out when I first got here. There's a place on the roof we hang out. You'd probably like him a lot, actually. He's easy to get along with and he can be really cheerful. Anyways, those are my friends. I haven't really met too many people." Met too many people, ha. He just brought up two friends who were nerdy bookworms like him and his best friend. For him to have so many friends, it was surprising but comforting. Ludwig had really grown up from the shy boy he was in the past. Gilbert matched Ludwig's smile and elbowed his side. Good on him getting a cheerful best friend. As much as Gilbert hoped to meet the kid, he hoped even more that he never saw him or Ludwig in the Underground when their graduation came around.

"Have you got a best friend?" Gilbert spluttered and wiped at his wet face as Ludwig dropped melting snow. He shot Ludwig a playful grin before sending a puff of snow into his face in retaliation. "What's your favorite class? You haven't been skipping classes, have you? You haven't gotten in any trouble, have you?" Ah Ludwig, Ludwig, always the worry wart.

Gilbert sat up, only to drape himself over Ludwig's shoulders and rub their cheeks together. "Your concern is so cute Luddy-Lud. Worried about big brother, so cute~" He laughed, reaching around to pinch Ludwig's other cheek. "No, I haven't gotten in much trouble. I got in with the trouble kids from the start and the teachers didn't try too hard with me since I came in so late." Coming into Weeds so late in the game, with just a little over two years before he would be throw to the Underground, the teachers ignored him for the most part. There was too much for him to learn and unlearn, honestly. (Not to mention, when he made friends with the problem kid of all problem kids, teachers just grouped him together with Hamish.) And he never drew too much attention to himself when by himself. It was easy to be the quiet and broken kid they wanted him to be when he was alone. It was only when with his friends did he have trouble clinging to his 'not allowed to be happy' gig and reverted to his usual attitude. So yeah, he got a lecture and a mild punishment here and there when running around with Mathias, but that was about it.

"So yeah, guess you beat me on the best friend front. This guy Mathias, I guess if I had any best friends that'd be him. He's an obnoxious fucker that never shuts up and is the only reason I get in trouble, swear. But he's fun and keeps me entertained. I'll miss him if he gets bought for good." Gilbert shrugged and hugged Ludwig tight. This was all still unbelievable. He dived right into catching up with Ludwig's life because it was easiest. But now he got the catch up game out of the way. His mind was done spinning with excitement and reality was seriously crashing in. This was Ludwig of all people sitting with him. Gilbert whined and buried his face in Ludwig's neck. How had he gotten so big? And he had so many friends and was having fun with his life! "Are you sure you don't hate me, Luds? I've missed all of this and more when I should have been there for you…"

Words: 850

Tags: Ludwig A. Beilschmidt;

made by MISSO on IOF

[Ludwig A. Beilschmidt]

baby you're a firestorm you're a loaded cannon

Ludwig squirmed a little bit as Gilbert snuggled closer against him but didn’t twist away, although his brother’s awkward position made it rather difficult to have a serious conversation. Gilbert had always liked to punctuate their talks with pokes or pinches or nuzzles or hugs; unlike himself, his older brother had never had any problem with showing physical affection, which Ludwig felt secretly glad for. He had missed the attention, even as he reflexively tried to guard himself from the pokes. That habit too came back quickly after so many years of disuse. But Gilbert didn’t mind, it seemed: he remained smiling as Ludwig talked about himself and the school and his friends, and even playfully retaliated Ludwig’s tease. “Hey!” Ludwig protested, spitting out snowflakes and shaking his head vigorously to clear the rest of the frost from his face. He probably deserved that, he realized, watching Gilbert slide up easily from his lap to hang comfortably over his shoulders instead. "Your concern is so cute Luddy-Lud. Worried about big brother, so cute~ No, I haven't gotten in much trouble. I got in with the trouble kids from the start and the teachers didn't try too hard with me since I came in so late." Ludwig unsuccessfully tried to dodge the pinch to his cheek, but Gilbert was hugging him too tightly, and he could only give a quiet grumble of protest. At the very least, it sounded like Gilbert hadn’t been starting any fights or getting into any serious trouble. In Weeds, starting trouble had far more serious consequences than it did outside of its walls, and Gilbert had never been as concerned about rule-breaking as Ludwig had. Of course, his brother didn’t appear to have given up on his old ways, which brought a frown to the blond’s face, but at the same time, knowing that his brother hadn’t been abused or hurt was comforting, even if he had been causing chaos. “So yeah, guess you beat me on the best friend front. This guy Mathias, I guess if I had any best friends that'd be him. He's an obnoxious fucker that never shuts up and is the only reason I get in trouble, swear. But he's fun and keeps me entertained. I'll miss him if he gets bought for good.” Ludwig didn’t know this Mathias, but if Gilbert liked him, he couldn’t be that bad of a person, even if he was an ‘obnoxious fucker’. And he felt his chest tighten a little as his brother gave voice to a worry they had in common — a worry all of the young mutants probably had in common. As frustrating as Weeds was, they could be together with their friends here. From what he had learned about the Underground, Ludwig doubted it would be the same at all. And getting bought… it meant a degree of freedom if you were lucky, but even then there wasn’t much of a chance you’d ever see your friends again. Or your brother again. Feeling Gilbert’s arms tighten around him, Ludwig did his best to return the hug, no longer feeling entirely optimistic. It was a good thing Gilbert had buried the room’s clock in snow; he didn’t want to see how much time the two of them had left before he would be forced to leave. For a moment, he thought his brother had the same worry on his mind, but when Gilbert gave voice to the reason behind his hug, Ludwig couldn’t help feeling a bit surprised, although that gave way to sadness. Gilbert still didn’t seem to believe he wasn’t hated or despised. Yet even now, turning the issue over and over again in his thoughts, Ludwig could find no justification to hate his brother at all. “Gilbert,” he said gently, “I don’t hate you. I missed you really badly, even more so after I got taken here, but I don’t blame you for any of it.” Ludwig’s anger had fallen mostly on his parents, who had raised him for eleven years to regard them as his protectors and had apparently abandoned him when he needed protecting most. Indirectly, Gilbert had looked after him too — a lot more than his parents, in a few cases — but Ludwig had never officially assigned his brother that role mentally. Gilbert was just Gilbert, his loud but cheerful older brother. And when he’d learned that Gilbert was at Weeds, Ludwig had realized that perhaps his brother had been dealing with his own troubles as well. How could he blame him or hate him, after knowing all of that? “I’m not your responsibility, Gil. You made me that, and that’s fine with me. But I’ve never felt like you let me down, okay? So please don’t be upset.” Ludwig gave the other man another fierce hug. “And, and don’t feel like you have to look after me from the Underground either,” he mumbled after a second, “because you’ll probably have your hands full there too.” Word Count: 856 Tags: @albinobitch Notes: sorry for the delay D:

by worldie for lena