Jun 21, 2016 1:43:15 GMT -5 |
Post by Eduard von Bock on Jun 21, 2016 1:43:15 GMT -5
IRL [ALFRED F. JONES]
It was hard to focus anymore.
His planner was left unwritten in for the remainder of the week after he had woken from the sleep of denial and ignorance. The veil had been shed and with it, the prospect of feeling safe... feeling normal and typical. With no written account and a mind drifting elsewhere, he stirred from his couch, a phone lying on his chest and several empty cans of cheap beer littered around the coffee table. Wincing to the iridescent light playing with shadows through the window as the sun fell over the horizon, Eduard reached for the phone. The screen brightened at his touch and displayed the time.
8:16.
His expression was dull, the numbers digging into the back of his memory as being somehow important, but he couldn't remember exactly how until he opened his messages and panic settled in once again. He was finally going to meet Roger. That was today and he overslept until fifteen minutes past their scheduled time. He only intended to sleep for an hour after work. How did this happen? He was still in a disheveled suit and, as he made his way to the bathroom, noticed the huge bags under his eyes when he passed the hallway mirror. Great. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and lived on the streets.
Moving quickly, he nearly sprinted to his bedroom, toothbrush jammed in his mouth. Trying to dig through his mess of a floor for a clean T-shirt proved to be more of a challenge than he imagined, as for the first time in a while, he actually cared about how he expressed himself in a casual situation. Shifting through a pile of clothes, he found a clean t-shirt from a music festival five years ago. Kerli had bought it for him since he refused to get a souvenir outside of overpriced food and drink. The memory was dear, and with those good intentions held within the fabric, he decided arbitrarily that it was good luck and carelessly removed the symbol of his fear in favor of one for safety.
He had stumbled on the way to the French style bar, his running drawing a few looks. Eduard didn't care much. This meet up had been two weeks in the making. Honestly, he and Roger talked at least twice a week and he was surprised that he didn't figure out that his online friend of two years lived in the same city. Or, that he didn't tell him. Well, Roger was someone to be trusted and he gave him the benefit of the doubt. The conversation didn't ever come up and he himself had only brought up where he was studying once or twice when they first met over some new MMO that had ended up closing down a year after. At that point, they still only knew each other by online aliases. Everything was a blur then.
The amount of force that he put into getting ready was put into opening the door and, much to Eduard's growing embarrassment, it hit the wall and drew immediate attention to him. All those eyes focused on him for a moment, and his world temporarily fell apart. Eyes were on him whenever something awful happened. They were on him when there was nothing but the smell of blood and pitiful cries for help. Those cries were recent; from Monday. They felt inescapable and he squeezed his eyes shut to block it all out. However, it was only a split second of focus with the world collapsing around him, before the attention was dropped, leaving a pained weight on his chest and a weird blurring between reality and the echos he heard inside his head.
Fear and panic blended with the humiliation of making even the slightest scene, and he choked down the urge to cry by pressing his hands firmly into the wall until the weight off his chest lifted and he could breathe again.
He was late. He was so late.
Eduard had to swallow his own nightmares and bury them again because no one could know; especially someone he considered a friend. As much as his excitement boiled down to having someone to talk to, he couldn't. There was nothing personal about it; he was sworn to secrecy and never realized the implications of that until he "woke up" to the pitiful cries and all the damage he had done caught up to him. With that crushing hopelessness of the double life he never intended to lead, he tried smiling and waved at the young man at the bar of whom he was sure was Roger. After all, they had webcammed while gaming frequently enough. He was so thankful for his glasses because he was no actor. He had been painfully informed of that for the remainder of the week. Just one good night was all he needed. One good night.
"H...Hey? Wow? It's crazy that we're actually meeting in person."
Still several meters away, he took a deep breath to clear his head, and took the bar seat next to his friend. All he wanted was a night away from his thoughts, and having a welcoming presence helped him immensely.
"Sorry I'm late. Work is killing me." Yawning a bit louder than he needed, he ordered a shot for himself and looked expectantly at his companion. "This'll be on my tab, so uh... just... get what you want? I... uh... accidentally fell asleep? I've just... barely slept this week. Oh my God." Trying so desperately to force himself into the moment, he laughed. It would have to suffice, no matter how strained it was and despite the fact that he was on the verge of tears. "Can't believe it's been two years since FreedomBoy50 joined my guild. I just..." He had to compose himself. "I'm just so happy to finally meet you."
And with that, the smile melted into something honest and sincere; like for just a few moments, he could be safe.
aeron at thq