| May 23, 2016 22:44:47 GMT -5 |
Post by Matthew Williams on May 23, 2016 22:44:47 GMT -5
if i only could
make a deal with God
He didn’t know what he was even doing any more. When was the last time his brother had actually looked to him as anything other than an annoyance? As just another inconvenience, as something to resent? Matthew sighed and shook his head, carefully balancing the cake tray in his hand. This was a desperate attempt, a last ditch way of reaching out to the brother that had built a wall between them. It didn’t matter that it had been years since they had last been brothers, since they’d stayed up all night, whispering secrets, since Al had dragged him out on some new adventure.
No… these days, Al wasn’t interested in hiking or camping… and he certainly wasn’t interested in Matthew. Not since… Matthew’s throat closed up at the thought of that late night visit. Of the words that tore the heart out of his family. His brother and father took their grief, sharpened it like a blade. Their heartache became a weapon, one they used against their enemies. The mutants.
Mattie smiled bitterly at the thought. He was literary enough that he could appreciate the irony of it all. His remaining family spent their time tracking and hunting down mutants, oblivious to the one sitting at their table. For nearly a year, he’d managed to hide that fact. It wasn’t hard, Al and their father never looked at him, barely gave him the time of day when they were home. In a way, he supposed he should be happy about it, no scrutiny meant no discovery. He shivered at the thought of being exposed, of being unmasked by his family, shivered at the thought of their reaction, their rejection. The thought alone nearly caused him to abandon this foolish mission of his. He was tempted to throw away the cake he’d slaved away on and beat a hasty retreat to his room where he could pass his birthday away in lonely, but safe, solitude. But somehow… somehow he couldn’t. It was as if he was rooted into the spot before his brother’s door, the cake burning an admonition in his hand.
You coward.
It was the same admonition Matthew could feel in the gazes of his family. It was the silent admonition that Matthew could hear in the door slamming shut behind his father and Al. It was the reason he was left behind, never participating in the drills, the target practice, the hunts. Even before his powers manifested, Matthew couldn’t muster the level of hatred that his family had built for complete strangers. He was weak-willed, a coward… no one wanted to rely on him.
But none of that mattered today. Today, it was only Al and Matthew. Today was their birthday and today was his best chance at reconnecting with his brother. Today might be the day that he finally filled that ache that had throbbed in his chest for years. Today he might finally be made whole again.
And so, with Al’s cake (his favorite) in his hand, and his heart in his throat, Matthew raised his hand to knock on the door.
No… these days, Al wasn’t interested in hiking or camping… and he certainly wasn’t interested in Matthew. Not since… Matthew’s throat closed up at the thought of that late night visit. Of the words that tore the heart out of his family. His brother and father took their grief, sharpened it like a blade. Their heartache became a weapon, one they used against their enemies. The mutants.
Mattie smiled bitterly at the thought. He was literary enough that he could appreciate the irony of it all. His remaining family spent their time tracking and hunting down mutants, oblivious to the one sitting at their table. For nearly a year, he’d managed to hide that fact. It wasn’t hard, Al and their father never looked at him, barely gave him the time of day when they were home. In a way, he supposed he should be happy about it, no scrutiny meant no discovery. He shivered at the thought of being exposed, of being unmasked by his family, shivered at the thought of their reaction, their rejection. The thought alone nearly caused him to abandon this foolish mission of his. He was tempted to throw away the cake he’d slaved away on and beat a hasty retreat to his room where he could pass his birthday away in lonely, but safe, solitude. But somehow… somehow he couldn’t. It was as if he was rooted into the spot before his brother’s door, the cake burning an admonition in his hand.
You coward.
It was the same admonition Matthew could feel in the gazes of his family. It was the silent admonition that Matthew could hear in the door slamming shut behind his father and Al. It was the reason he was left behind, never participating in the drills, the target practice, the hunts. Even before his powers manifested, Matthew couldn’t muster the level of hatred that his family had built for complete strangers. He was weak-willed, a coward… no one wanted to rely on him.
But none of that mattered today. Today, it was only Al and Matthew. Today was their birthday and today was his best chance at reconnecting with his brother. Today might be the day that he finally filled that ache that had throbbed in his chest for years. Today he might finally be made whole again.
And so, with Al’s cake (his favorite) in his hand, and his heart in his throat, Matthew raised his hand to knock on the door.
by worldie on iof
